Toy Review – The Starlet by Womanizer
With the Womanizer Pro40 being the only toy that can reliably get me off at the moment, you’d think that maybe other models from the same company using the same type of tech just repackaged into different shapes would work just as well – wouldn’t you?
Well you’d be wrong. I thought so, and I have been fuckin wrong. We’re all wrong. Everything is wrong.
After reading a couple reviews I purchased the Womanizer 2Go a few months back, hoping to find something even better than the Pro40, because while it does do a consistently good job of getting me off, I still want more. The 2Go sadly couldn’t deliver that for me, for reasons I have trouble articulating. The sensation is just wrong, not enough this, too that – I don’t know. The 2Go features a pretty drastic change in shape from the other Womanizer models, both in handle and in nozzle, so I thought maybe that was just my fatal mistake, I ventured too far outside the box. The Starlet appears to just be a severely shrunken version of the Pro40 (or the W500/Pro or the Plus Size – though I don’t own either of those so I can’t speak to how they actually feel. We’re just talking shape right now) so I agreed to give it a whirl, expecting to just be re-writing my Pro40 review.
The Starlet is the first Womanizer product I’ve received that came in such a fancy case, which is funny considering it’s their least fancy model with the least amount of features and smallest in size. While I usually am a big fan of nice presentation (even though I just throw it all away in the end) the box really is ridiculous for this toy’s size. The whole draw of a toy this small is to be discreet, not to be showcased in a 5.5″ x 5.5″ box
Furthermore, if you want to supply your toy with a nice storage case, maybe don’t coat it in stickers that don’t peel off? Did you know we actually create stickers that don’t just shred or leave behind impossible-to-remove residue now? It’s true. Or how about why do we even need to cover this box in stickers in the first place? The box already has three separate slogans plastered on it, a fourth is overkill. (Also want to note that the top of the box was sealed with one of those clear circle stickers that DOES peel off just fine, AND the lid snaps on tightly enough that stickers are completely unnecessary.) It might seem silly that I’d get so upset over bad packaging when I said that I just throw it all away, but other consumers prefer to keep the boxes and bags their toys come in, and what’s more – you pay for this shit. A fancy plastic box with shit printed all over it and a custom formed indent in the plastic to hold your toy in place costs money, and that cost is passed onto the consumer, wrapped up inside the product price. I would prefer to get all my toys in cheap plain brown recycled packaging, but we aren’t given these choices when we buy things, so if we must pay for it it had damn well be really nice, dontcha think?
Moving on. The Starlet is super tiny so it is indeed discreet in that regard, though it almost feels wrong in my hands. The button is on the back of the toy, leaving me to press it with my index finger instead of my thumb as I do with the Pro40, and I’m not much a fan of that. Still, this change is far preferred over the 2Go’s button placement, which is on the bottom of the base. Capped, the 2Go may be the least sex-toy-looking item Womanizer produces, but if giant lipsticks on your clit just ain’t your jam and you want something as small as you can get it, Starlet is it.
Unlike several of the other Womanizer models, the Starlet only comes equipped with the cone shaped nozzle. If you prefer the concave one you’ll have to purchase it separately or swap it off another Womanizer you already own. (I don’t like the concave shape so it’s not a big deal for me, but it may be for others and I don’t understand why every other model comes with the spare nozzle but the Starlet doesn’t. Even the 2Go, which has nozzles completely different from the other models comes with two different ones.) I can only imagine this has something to do with Womanizer marketing the Starlet as an “introductory” sort of device – one where you spend around a hundred bucks just to test the masturbatory waters and then later upgrade for a few more hundred dollars to a different model. That doesn’t really fly with me – especially not at these prices.
More on the Starlet’s compact size – the charging cable is hilariously small. Like, I might lose this small. Like, the label I put on it is almost as big as it is, small. But the size isn’t what I’m most unhappy about
For seemingly no reason whatsoever, Womanizer decided the Starlet needed to be micro USB. Every single other model has the same charging cable (whose technical name I do not know) but the Starlet just had to be different. If you only ever own one single Womanizer product then I suppose that’s fine. I now have 3 and will likely acquire more still, so being able to just grab any ol’ cable in the absolute sea of charging cables I have for my mountain of toys is really very handy. With the Starlet not only do I need to search out some itty bitty cord, but it MUST be that exact one because none of the others will fit.
I really don’t understand when any company, no matter what kind of product they make, chooses to do this. The old long cylindrical chargers were just fine, the charging port needed to insert those into isn’t even that much deeper than a micro USB port, it didn’t save any space, and they kept costs and hassle down by only needing one charging cable across multiple products. The micro USB is an odd and in my opinion undesirable switch.
So what’s it like? How’s it function? Does it make me cum?
It’s awful, I hate it, and no. While I find my problems with the 2Go difficult to put my finger on, the Starlet is simple – it’s just too rough. I know that sounds like a strange thing coming from someone who often champions rumbly over buzzy sensations and constantly begs for stronger harder more intense power in her vibes…but it’s true. The Starlet lacks whatever odd nuance there is in the Pro40 and some other “air pressure wave” toys like these’ mechanics, and instead just commits an uncomfortable assault on my clit that I cannot forgive. If I were trapped on a desert island with only the Starlet I could force it to work for me, but I wouldn’t enjoy it one bit.
Besides the uncomfortable pulses, I would never ever give up my separate increase and decrease buttons the Pro40 sports for a single button that cycles through the settings. The Starlet comes with only 4 intensity levels which I found myself scrolling through far too frequently when losing track of which one I was on and accidentally cycling back down to 1 when I was hoping I had one more higher. The icing on the cake is Womanizer boasting about the Starlet having a “silent mode” feature on their website, when this is one of the loudest “air pressure wave” devices I’ve owned (and I complained a lot about the original Satisfyer line being loud)
The other Womanizer models are really not even that big to begin with, so I can’t see the roughness, the noise, the loss of button control, or lack of settings as good trade offs just to get something that’s small. As for the smaller price tag – I feel that this is definitely one of those ‘get what you pay for’ situations. I personally would absolutely want to spring for the wider range of settings and better control than the Starlet offers.
The Womanizer Starlet Tl;dr