Toy Review – The Hitachi Magic Wand Rechargeable by Vibratex

 In Review

So, I had a review in the queue for something else today but I’ve decided to bump it to next week in favor of something I picked up earlier this week. Shout out to Come As You Are for always being there when I need a sex toy on a whim.

I want to talk about the hitachi.

Yeah I already know about that

No the new one

The new one?

Yeah the new one. The rechargeable cordless one.

Did you just say-

Yeah. I said that. Catch your breath. 

I’m gonna start you off with some shit you probably don’t care about but I want to mention anyway.

Its not a hitachi.

What the fuck did you just say

Hear me out, I’ve got some history to lay on you. Hitachi the company is a gigantic manufacturer of everything from “back massagers” to heavy duty construction equipment to CD players. After 45 years of basically nobody using their “back massager” on their back and instead inside their pants, Hitachi decided they didn’t want to be affiliated with sex toys and instead of discontinuing it completely, were persuaded by their new distributor, Vibratex, to continue production without their name on it anymore. It is now simply referred to as The Magic Wand or The Original Magic Wand.

But it’s clearly too late, the device has colloquially been “The Hitachi” for basically ever, despite the fact that we could just as easily be referring to a bulldozer and not a back massager because they make those too, and nobody’s changing that any time soon. Even without the company brand on the handle we all still know exactly what it is. The website for the Magic Wand still has “hitachi” in the About text and every other website that has ever talked about or sold the Magic Wand or anything resembling it are still using Hitachi’s name…so…you tried Hitachi, you tried.

TELL ME ABOUT THE TOY

I bought the slightly crunched box one because…who gives a shit.

People go batshit for unboxxings don’t they?

Look! An instruction manual! No I didn’t read it.

You’ll notice (if you’ve owned the original) that it looks slightly different.

I want to start with the cordless/rechargeable part because it’s seriously the most important thing. The original cord (and the charging cord that comes with the new one) is only about 6 feet long. In theory that sounds like plenty of cord but in practice many users find the cord length impossible.

I travel a lot. If you’ve stayed in any average hotel (hilton, hyatt, wyndham, etc) lately you will have noticed that almost inevitably they have renovated in the stupidest way possible. You go to plug in your phone and….cannot find an outlet. You look next to the bed and trace the cords from the lamp, phone, and alarm clock – none of which you will ever use – and find they all lead to the same place. BEHIND THE FUCKING HEADBOARD AND YOU CANNOT REACH THAT OUTLET BECAUSE ITS BEHIND THE FUCKING BED. You want to murder people for this. Or at least I do. The closest outlet you can actually use is on the other side of the room behind a chair and floor lamp. You do not want to straddle a fucking floor lamp to use your vibrator. Me neither. You count your lucky stars for the instances where the bedside lamp has those outlets built into them which cause everything to charge extraordinarily slowly but at least they’re near you.

Even in my own home, where my outlets are on either side of our headboard, this is still an issue. Our bed is a full-size. For the toy to reach me I have to be crammed up against the headboard on the very edge of the bed, GOD FORBID it’s plugged in on the opposite side of the bed from where we are trying to get busy. Hence the extension cords I may or may not be risking catching us on fire with.

Being rechargeable will save you from having to put yourself in the corner and risking your life to cum. BUT ALSO THIS IS IMPORTANT if you forget to charge it up or are taking more than 4 hours to have an orgasm (which you are totally allowed to do, high fives to you) you can use it WHILE IT IS PLUGGED IN. I’ve never come across a rechargeable toy that won’t break if you try to use it while it’s on it’s charging cable, so this is pretty fucking cool. No more accidental orgasm-denial while you wait for your toy to charge. (been there, done that, cried)

When you need to plug in, and while its charging, you’ll see this little red light come on. When it’s done charging and is still plugged in the light will turn green.

HMWR5

The new one obviously has buttons, instead of the old rocker switch. Part of me loves this, part of me hates it.

In the old model the “off” position was in the middle of the rocker, so to go from low to high you’d rock over “off”, which nobody wants to do. Nobody wants to turn it off to turn it up. (okay some people do, but thats another matter). 9 times out of 10 you flip the switch quickly and smoothly and skip right over turning it off, but that ONE TIME your hand slips or something and you accidentally turn it off and then you’re fumbling in a panic to get it back on is miserable. MISERABLE. Been there, done that, cried. 

The new model has a power button that is separate the intensity control. The people rejoiced!

Now for the part I do and don’t like. The middle button is the intensity button.

They’ve added two more lower levels, so you’re no longer going between only low and high, or as most people define it, high and HOLY FUCK.

This is a part I like. My other go-to vibrator, the eroscillator, has three levels. My third-in-line vibrator, Gigi by Lelo, has I don’t know how many levels off the top of my head but it’s something like 10, half of which I skip right passed because they’re too low but I LIKE THE OPTION. The 4 levels offered in the new hitachi are in my opinion (as someone who loves the high and holy fuck levels) a great range of intensity.

So now I have to tell you what I don’t like. What I hate. Hate is a really strong word but I have to use it here – once you’ve levelled up you can’t turn back. Changing the levels of intensity goes 1-2-3-4-1. WHY THE FUCK WOULD I WANT TO GO FROM FOUR TO ONE?!?! That’s pretty much as bad as just turning it the fuck off at that point. I’m someone who likes and sometimes needs edging (bringing yourself close to orgasm and then backing off, then getting close again, then backing off. When you finally let yourself orgasm many people say it’s more intense.) My brand of edging does not go “oh, oh I’m getting so close LET ME RIP THE CORD OUT OF THE WALL AND THROW THE TOY OUT THE WINDOW”. They were on the right track and then the train seems to have fucking crashed. I want to be able to toggle between 2 and 3, or 3 and 4, or be able to quickly ramp up and then turn it back down. I don’t want to have to go through a total reset to bring the intensity back down a notch. I don’t think many people would disagree with me.

Moving on, we have the brand new vibrational patterns which the bottom button controls.

Some people like patterns, some don’t. Me? Depends on the mood I’m in I guess. I almost never cum from a vibrator on a pattern but I can sometimes get off using the first one on this toy.

The four that the hitachi offers are

1 ) buzz buzz buzzzzzzzzz- buzz buzz buzzzzzzzzz – buzz buzz buzzzzzzzzz- buzz buzz buzzzzzzzzz

2) buzzzzzzzzz – buzzzzzzzzz – buzzzzzzzzz – buzzzzzzzzz – buzzzzzzzzz

3) buzz – buzz – buzz – buzz – buzz – buzz

4) the wave (constant vibration gradually increasing then decreasing in intensity)

This setting ALSO cannot go backwards, after the fourth button click you start at pattern one again.

You also cannot change the intensity of the vibration. The pattern vibrations feel somewhere close to the 3rd intensity, you cannot make them stronger or weaker. This upsets me a bit.

The new wand doesn’t rattle my hands quite as much, nor does it heat up like the old one did. Still (and I don’t know why), it will shut itself off after 20 minutes, supposedly to prevent the overheating that it doesn’t do. Whatever, hitachi.

I want to finish this off with things I like about it so we’re gonna talk about the material

They’ve changed the head to a nice smooth silicone cap instead of that… I don’t even know what the original was, vinyl probably, but it was gross, easily discoloured, and you couldn’t clean it well. Silicone you can sanitize, which is important especially if you share toys. Most people slip condoms over the cap (and you can still do that with the new one) to help with clean up, but me? I like soap and water and no chance of bacterial absorption. Silicone all the way.

The shape of the head also has a slight difference that my photos don’t really pick up. There’s a slightly more pronounced “edge” around the top that forms a bit of a corner I’m able to wedge between my labia to hit my clit the right way. I’m completely incapable of getting off with the broad sides or flat top pressed against me, even on the highest settings. I need that “edge” and the new design makes it easier to access than the old top did.

My original wand is also a bit old and way used but I believe the new one is a bit quieter as well (though neither of these things are discreet, someone else in the next room will still hear this).

I’m REALLY pleased with the cordless option and the silicone cap. I’m not at all pleased with the way they implemented the intensity settings. The original retails for around $50, while the new one is selling for around $130-$160. Are the new features that I do like worth the hundred dollar hike and dealing with the features I don’t like? I’m not sure yet, I’ll have to see just how infuriating I find the intensity switch after more uses.